What About the Pronouns?!

A white, clean-shaven person with slightly wild, curly, dark blonde hair is standing behind a mic on a stand, gesturing as though their hands were giant claws while looking askance. They're standing in a white tent in daylight, with a stylised orange sun in a blue sky on a banner decorated with ivy leaves behind them. They're wearing a white shirt with elbow-length sleeves, and a grey, tweed waistcoat with several badges on one lapel.

A white, bearded person with chin-length, curly hair of an indeterminate colour frowns suspiciously over their shoulder from behind a microphone stand. They are spotlight in a maroonish colour, wearing a dark red top and black waistcoat.

So what’s all this about pronouns? Why don’t I use she/her or he/him to describe myself? Why are my more recent pictures bearded? The answer is as simple or complex as you need it to be, but I’m nonbinary which, in my case, means that I use the pronouns ze/zir or they/them when talking about myself in the third person (which I do as little as possible), as do my friends and colleagues. I’m also intersex, hence the beard, but I shaved it off for years due to shame bestowed on me by other people which I abandoned in 2020, because frankly it’s clear that life’s too short! (Also, it turns out that I look great with a goatee…)

If all this nonbinary gender stuff is new to you but you’re keen to learn more and get it right, I wrote a guide for my colleagues which went a little viral and is now apparently being used in various schools, colleges, studios, NHS Trusts, and at least one prison as guidance material. Or if you just want to use my pronouns correctly when talking about me, there’s a good guide here.